Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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