Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
