You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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