I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Randomize
