you guys were way drunker than both of me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
