so explain again why im purple
no
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize