how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
