glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
