Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
