FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
