It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
