I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
