let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
