at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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