Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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