What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
