you have to choose: penises or morals?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
