after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
