just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize