I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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