I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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