good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just found puke in my bra..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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