I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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