ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
