So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
