Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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