Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
