Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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