so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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