is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
