i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize