we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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