Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
