That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You smell like stripper and shame
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
