My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
