I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize