yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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