I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
