Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
