Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
nutella sex= disaster
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
