I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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