how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
