...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
