i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
