every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
