You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
