I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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