I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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