I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
