I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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