it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
