3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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