whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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