Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
