Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
