spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
